Alcoholic Dad to Present Father (Become the Dad you NEVER Had)

What do you do when your dad is drunk, absent, and ruins your childhood—then you grow up and realize you’re becoming just like him?

In this raw conversation, Joshua Brown sits down with Gary Wilber to talk about growing up with an alcoholic father, the rage and embarrassment he carried for years, and the spiritual wake-up call that turned him from workaholic provider into a present, intentional dad. If you’re wrestling with father wounds, forgiveness, or feeling exhausted as a dad, this one is for you.

In this episode you’ll learn:

• How growing up with an alcoholic dad shaped Gary’s childhood and identity
• The rock-bottom moment when his father embarrassed him in front of his friends
• Why his mom stayed in a hard marriage—and what Gary learned from her loyalty
• How Gary realized he was repeating his dad’s pattern through workaholism
• The men’s retreat that “slapped him awake” and changed his fatherhood forever
• What forgiveness really is (and why it’s more for you than for your dad)
• Practical advice for worn-out dads who have nothing left in the tank after work
• Simple spiritual habits to lead your family and keep your eyes on Jesus

👊 Ready to become the dad you never had?

 🔗 Learn more about Dudes Without Dads: https://www.dudeswithoutdadspodcast.com/

If this helped you, share it with a man who needs to hear he’s not alone.

#DudesWithoutDads #ChristianMen #Fatherhood

Chapters / Timestamps

00:00 – Cold open: “My dad was an alcoholic…”
 00:55 – Welcome to Dudes Without Dads + intro to Gary
 01:30 – Youngest of six: growing up with a weekend drunk dad
 02:20 – “Dad, will you play catch?” and the pain of broken promises
 03:10 – An always-driving mom and a house full of yelling
 03:55 – Escaping home through sports, student council, and busyness
 04:35 – Mom’s loyalty, marriage vows, and why she never left
 06:00 – Should you stay or leave a hard marriage? Gary’s perspective
 07:10 – From alcoholic dad to workaholic son: repeating the pattern
 08:10 – The spiritual “slap” that woke Gary up as a father
 09:30 – Want to share your story on Dudes Without Dads? (host CTA)
 10:35 – Teen years: no dad to ask about manhood, porn, and wrong turns
 11:40 – Meeting his wife’s steady farmer dad and learning real manhood
 12:50 – A teacher speaks leadership into him: “You’ll be president one day”
 14:00 – Leadership, mentors, and deciding who you want to become
 14:45 – Rock-bottom embarrassment: dad yelling at his friends in high school
 16:00 – “I refused to forgive him… until my wife called me out”
 17:10 – Telling his dad “I forgive you” before he died
 18:05 – The heart healing that came with forgiveness
 19:00 – Realizing his kids would remember him like he remembered his dad
 20:30 – Mid-episode giving + support invitation from Joshua
 21:40 – Selling the business and becoming a more present dad
 22:30 – Coaching, choir concerts, football games, and just being there
 23:15 – What is Cursillo? Gary explains the retreat that changed him
 24:20 – Why men need time, space, and silence with God
 25:20 – Exhausted dads of toddlers: “Your job starts when you get home”
 26:10 – It’s not 50/50—it’s 100/100 in marriage
 27:20 – Sex, serving your wife, and showing up at home
 28:15 – Men as spiritual leaders and the cost of absent fathers
 29:15 – Simple habits: Bible, prayer, and small daily faith steps
 31:10 – Depending on God when you have nothing left