When Your Dad Dies at 26: From Cocaine to Purpose | Mark Koch

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Most men spend their whole lives chasing success, approval, and achievement, hoping that one day it'll finally make them feel, whole, or complete. My guest today had what most men think is the fix of everything Hollywood success, big project, and recognition. And yet he still hit rock bottom. What he discovered on the other side didn't just change his life, it started a movement. Today we're talking about fatherlessness, identity, and why the most important hour of your day might be the one you're currently giving away.

SPEAKER_02 0:47

My life is by rolling downhill depression, alcoholism, incarceration, deaths by despair. The one guy who showed up is just Jesus. If you can give a man clarity and community, he can start to live out his purpose. You can break generational curses of alcoholism.

SPEAKER_00 1:03

Welcome to Dudes Without Dads, the show that trains men how to become the dads they never had. Mark, welcome to the Dudes Without Dads podcast. I am super humbled and grateful that you're with us today.

SPEAKER_03 1:20

Um, I am fired up, my brother. And we're already off to a great start because it's been a battle just getting on this podcast, but we win.

SPEAKER_00 1:31

Well, in a second, we're gonna go real deep real fast. But before we get into it, let's get grounded for a second. Where do you call home these days?

SPEAKER_03 1:40

I am in Thompson Station, Tennessee.

SPEAKER_00 1:45

Okay, I did not know you were a local.

SPEAKER_03 1:48

Oh, yeah, I'm I'm a local. As a matter of fact, it's funny because uh my wife, we we we sold our house in Wellington, Florida. My my daughter moved up to Tennessee and we're empty nesters. And uh we moved up here to give it a try in 2019. And there's many times she's you know, from being on the water in the boat, she's like, How did we get from Wellington, Florida to Thompson Station, Tennessee? But we're liking it, but we do miss Florida too.

SPEAKER_00 2:15

Well, for someone that's never been to Thompson Station, how would you describe it to someone just trying to understand where you live these days?

SPEAKER_03 2:22

Well, I'll tell you what, it's Franklin's basically we're around the border of Franklin, Tennessee. It's a great place. And you know, we got here in 2019 just in time for the COVID. So we were locked down like you know, as as soon as we got here. But man, the growth that's been happening. But it's a medium-sized town. It's just the people are great. You know, that's that's one of the things that I've noticed um in Florida with a lot of different transients. Um, it's it's just the people are like Merry Christmas. Hey, how you doing? Merry Christmas instead of a happy holiday. They're just, you know, when they say it's a Bible belt, it's a Bible belt. So I mean, we love the people, we love the it's beautiful, it's really nice.

SPEAKER_00 3:04

Yeah, Rolling Hills, Green. We have all the seasons. Yeah, there's a lot of blessings right here. I've lived in Victoria, I've lived in Florida, and I feel like I'm Goldilocks where everything's just right here in Nashville, Tennessee. Right. So for those that have never met you, they don't know anything about your story. We're gonna get into a little bit of it, but how old are you today?

SPEAKER_03 3:27

Oh, you told me not to say that earlier before the podcast. Well, 60 67.

SPEAKER_00 3:33

Okay, now I'm done, right? It's over. You just you just said it. And so 67. 67 years old. Are you married?

SPEAKER_03 3:41

I'm married 30 32 years.

SPEAKER_00 3:44

32 years. Any kids?

SPEAKER_03 3:47

Oh, yes, four. I got my my oldest is 40. That's Blake. Um, and then I got my baby girl who just got married. She's 31. I got a 28-year-old son and a 26-year-old son.

SPEAKER_00 4:00

Any grandkids yet?

SPEAKER_03 4:02

Yeah. Oh, grandkids, yeah. Uh Blake, my son, has two, uh, a boy and a girl. And uh that that's been a blessing. And man, you know, we you always hear that's hey, enjoy things while you can because time flies. You know, so back 20 years, I'm gonna think, well, time isn't flying now to me, right? And now I look back, I got a 40-year-old, like, good lord. And then the grandkids now are 13 and and 9. I think it's 13 and 9 or potentially 10, but um, they've just grown up and you see that transition. It's interesting. Um, and but first of all, my son's just a great dad. I had a great dad, but it's funny how grandpa they call me crazy grandpa. You know, I I don't know why here, Joshua, okay. But but anyways, they call me crazy grandpa, and just it, you know, the relationship, I've had so much fun with them, but now they're older, they're teenagers. It's like, oh yeah, the voice changed everything. Hey grandpa, how are you doing? They're not the same grandkids, you know, they're grand teens, you know. So I keep telling my daughter, who just got married in August, she's 30. I said, Okay, it's time to put one in the back basket. We need a new granddaughter or something. She's like, Dad, stop that. We're not ready for that. But yeah, I'm really blessed, Joshua. The family and uh uh God's given me a lot of grace. And that, you know, I can I can tell all your listeners right now, that's what proved to me that there is a God because there's no logical reason my wife should have stayed with me. And she hung through it all, and uh the the marriage is you know just getting sweeter.

SPEAKER_00 5:34

We're gonna get into all of that for our listeners, and I'm ready to go ahead and shift. You mentioned a little bit about your father. Yeah, Mark, would you mind sharing a little bit about your dad?

SPEAKER_03 5:45

Yeah, my dad, and and that's the thing. I it's it's hard for me to even fathom um people that don't have a relationship with their father, a good relationship. And and obviously there's probably more people like that than than good ones. But my dad and I were super, super close. He was a friend, but he was also a father. I mean, he was a good friend. But when when when he had to, you know, put a whooping on me, you know what I mean? He wouldn't then hug me and love me. This hurts me more than you. It's like my butt, how can it hurt you more than you? But, anyways, he um our relationship was amazing. I'll never forget I was in high school. He had a heart attack at 41 and uh went in for surgery, they did an ARI bypass. He died at 51 years old, and that was painful. I mean, I I kissed my father on on even the day before he died. We were very close. He was very affectionate, he was very positive. You can do anything you want. You can he was just an amazing, amazing man. It was a big loss. I was 26, and what's interesting, um, I say this a lot, they say, you know, a man never becomes his own man until he loses his father. And that is so true. That is so true. Because I can promise you this after I lost my dad, I became my own man. That's when then got into Hollywood. We'll talk in a little bit. That's when I didn't have anybody, because I didn't have a relationship with Jesus Christ, I didn't have anybody to hold me accountable. You know, I mean, I was scared to death of my dad, okay, to mess up because he was strict. If I if I screwed up, he was strict. And uh so I just went wild in Hollywood and the started the partying and the drinking and the drugging just went nuts. And I can promise you this if my dad would have been alive in those days, it'd have never happened. He'd have flew to Hollywood and pulled me out by my hair and put a whooping on me, then loved me, you know. But it was that just father figure and discipline and love and affection. And uh, you know, I I had a hard time dealing with that. I felt I got robbed at 26 to to lose it, but it is well with my soul now.

SPEAKER_00 7:59

For dudes who never had a dad and were wanting to drill in on what you learned from your dad as it relates to being a man, a husband, and a father, what would you say are some like key stories or memories of what your dad taught you on what it looks like from an identity standpoint to be a man, to be a husband, to be a father?

SPEAKER_03 8:21

Yeah, you know, it's it's really interesting because you can probably by my tell by my personality now, I got a lot of energy. So back when I was younger days, I could could get in a little bit of trouble all the time, you know? And uh it's is and I was a really good liar, and I'd lie about things, and it's interesting how my dad would always know. And the only time he really ever spanked my buck good is when he caught me in a lie. Okay, lying to him was key number one speak truly, deal truly, and live truly in all that you say and do. And I remember Keith Factor said to me, Go, son, he said, if you always tell the truth, you never have to remember what you said. Okay, no matter how painful the truth is, it's gonna be a lot more painful because it always comes around. It always comes back, it might be 10 years later. I can give you example after example of when when you lied about something 10 years later, I thought you said you went here. You're like, whoops. So he he was really um big on integrity and truth, and and those are the things that uh I lacked in. I I really did. And also um praise, encouragement. He gave me a lot of encouragement all the time. And you you know, as you're growing up, you get down as a hockey player and we say, you can do this, get up again and do it again. And he was an encourager, he was affectionate, but he was also disciplinary, and the discipline, it you just like Proverbs, train up a child in the way they should go, and they will not uh you know deviate from it. And uh, so that's the main things. But he was really, really solid on truth. And you know, I I grew up in a a um not a Christian home. We're I was born and raised Catholic, actually graduated from St. Hugo's, like uh graduated from Gabriel Richard, but I I was in Catholic school, and I tell people I didn't got the busted knuckles to prove it from the nuns hitting me with the rulers, you know. Back then you could hit somebody, but uh we were the the epitome of the we go to church on Christmas and Easter, and that's it. You know, then the blessing before the meal, there was there was no relationship. Jesus Christ was not at all present in our home. Okay. And I think that's the only thing that was lacking. However, his actions were as as Christ-like as you can imagine.

SPEAKER_00 10:53

Man, there's a couple of things I'm wanting to press in on before we we move too much further in the story. And and one of them is this for any dude that loses their dad when they're in their 20s, what are the lies? What are the emotions that you have to work through?

SPEAKER_03 11:15

You know, I think there's um it's it's interesting because I've always been a believer. But but wasn't a Christ follower, especially when when my dad passed. You get those anger issues like man, if you know, if there's a God, why would God take my dad at 26? He was a good man, he was a great man. I need him, you know. That's not a good God. I thought you're a loving God, a grateful God. Why? That doesn't make any sense. So you get that anger going on where you can actually pull away from God. Yet um it's interesting how God will reveal himself and give you signs. Like when my father died, I had specific signs like if he's up in heaven, Lord, just give me a sign. Or of course I'm talking to dad. Dad, if you're up in heaven, just give me a sign. And I had this one song come on, then a light came on. Oh my gosh. Well, I know now it wasn't my dad, it was it was it was the Lord doing those signs to to give me the comfort knowing I got them. Okay, now move and go on. I think the hardest thing is the transition is not having anybody that you can talk to for direction, for advice. Because when you got a great relationship with your father, he's he's like a king, you know. What he said, he you just think he knows everything, right? Um, of course, my kids know that I don't know everything, so that's came through the generational things. But my dad, in my opinion, knew everything. So you kind of get that loss of direction. And that's that's why I was saying earlier, a man never becomes his own man until he's his father. And that that that's a that's a curve there where you can go either way. It's like, okay, I'm on my own now. I'm gonna make it, I'm gonna do this, or huh, I I can go get wild, Val. I'm not, I don't have anybody to discipline me, you know. So I think it's it's a transition that that takes several years. It does. And there's a lot of times where where I wished he was around. Now I just praise God. Now it's a memory, it's just great memories. Um, so that's it.

SPEAKER_00 13:34

I want to thank you for taking time to listen to this story. And if there's something inside of here that is adding value to you, I want you to stop and hit subscribe. I am on mission to help men become the dads they never had. Many of us struggle with father wounds, addictions, identity issues, and really what we need is we need a model. We need to see people that have broken the patterns and come alongside of them. I want to simply invite you to join me on the journey. Every Thursday, we're gonna release a new episode. Each episode is gonna help you and others become the dads they never had. Hit subscribe and share with a friend. Now let's get back to the story. Now I appreciate you sharing that because there are so many ways that Satan uses to trip us up or to, you know, you know, a lie believe functions as truth, even when it's a lie. And there's things that we go through in this life that we believe that are simply not true. And you are very fortunate to have a dad who loved you like Christ loves his church. And so praise God. What was your dad's name?

SPEAKER_03 14:46

Bill, William Cook.

SPEAKER_00 14:49

William Cook. I'm having a grandson born July 4th, my first one, and they're gonna name him William. Awesome, awesome. Cool. Yeah, so I want to fast forward a few decades from your dad passing away to the height of your success. And so, for those that have never followed you, don't know your story, what did the mountaintop look like? Describe it to me.

SPEAKER_03 15:14

Yeah, uh interesting. Let me give you just a quick background on to show you how God's in this because uh, you know, I I God always gives me these acronyms. I got like seven of them now. One was DNA. And of course, he Holy Spirit always wakes up like at four in the morning. Can't be during prayer time. Boom. You know, I get DNA. And I actually have a little Holy Spirit board where I write things down, like DNA. What are you trying to tell me here, Lord? Divine natural assignment. We all have a DNA in the in the flesh fingerprints, we're all unique, right? So we have a flesh, an earthly DNA, but he revealed to me all of us have a spiritual DNA, which is an assignment, divine natural assignment. So if we can get this DNA, which is the battleground, with aligned with our spiritual DNA, then his will for your life, he can he can direct you. So that said, um, I have a you know, born and raised in Detroit, Michigan, have a degree in automotive marketing and uh two-year associate's degree, went into the car business, but I always had a dream of becoming a Hollywood producer. So that's why I'm talking about DNA. What would a guy from Detroit that's has a degree in automotive over and over in mind? I want to be a Hollywood producer. Okay. That that's a a divine um, that's God just telling me what my his will for my life is, you know, there's no other explanation. And again, I was a believer but not saved. This is after my dad died. Um I I actually bought a book called The Real Power, R-E-E-L, by Mark Litwack. It's how to become a movie producer. Okay. So this is how I read it, and there's three ways in there. First one was well, if you got the money, you can go make a movie. That was out. Okay. Um, if write a screenplay that everybody wants, like Stallone did Rocky, that's out. I got a D in English, okay. Or C option something like a number one bestseller. I went through this process, and again, this is when my dad passed away. And backing up, we were always very wealthy all our lives with big houses. My dad was very successful, so I was the rich kid in school, you know, spoiled, rotten, but not a spoiled brat. You know, brand new Trans Am at 16, Corvette in college, that you know, spoiled. Well, right before he died, he lost everything. Everything. And it's a long story, but left my mom, all of us, had his life insurance policy secured on a bank loan, lost it all. I mean, died broke and in bed. That was a a rude awakening because now I gotta take care of my mom, you know. And and I I don't want to go all the place here, but it's interesting because on his deathbed, remember him say to me, he said, this might be it, it might not be coming out of this. He went in for a second heart surgery, and he says, Two things, remember, always speak the truth. Okay. Second thing, when you make a commitment, you keep it no matter how painful. And the third thing, take care of your mama. I'm like, you know, and not knowing how bad his financial position is, you know, after somebody dies, then you're realizing, oh my gosh, we don't have anything. Nothing. So that was a crazy deal. Long going back on track with Hollywood, ended up borrowing money from different families. I optioned the book called The God Project. That's kind of interesting as I look back at it, because God Project, well, that sounds like a good title. However, it's far from a Christian movie. It's by John Saul, it's a thriller. Optioned it, borrowed my sister's American Express card. Broke, flew out to Hollywood and snuck through the gates of Paramount. Okay. You could tell I was insane. You know, my automotive experience helped me, you know, kind of finesse, if you will, and not speak the truth. Pre-Christian days to all the audience here, pre-Christian days. And uh I had this planned that, you know, my last name, KOCH. There's a very famous producer, Howard Koch, you know, Casablanca, and he was at Paramount and just and I had it all planned out where I go there around lunchtime because I did my research and found out he's got grandkids in Florida. I said, I'm gonna go up to the gate at Paramount right at lunchtime. Tell him I'm here to see my grandpa from Florida, but I want to surprise him. Okay. I mean, like, what am I thinking? Yeah, I look back and it's like, what are you thinking? So the plan works. I get up to the gate of Paramount. I said, I'm here to see my grandpa, but I want to surprise him. License, please. Guard, give him my driver's license. I'll never forget it, Josh. He gets on the phone. That's when it hit me going, oh my gosh, I could get arrested. What this, you know, what am I doing? Hangs the phone up and it works. He goes, All right, park up there. He's in dressing room 205. I got in. And I had a mark there, Newfell Raimi, who were big producers. I have my book in hand, the God project, and I'm gonna go become a movie producer. And this is a two-hour podcast. Long story short, end up getting a deal at Paramount, a first look deal, it's called. And next thing you know, I got an office at Paramount. I got interns working me from USC at USC Film School and UCLA. And I didn't know anything about the film business, only what I what I, you know, um read about. And it's interesting because I look back and my interns, I'd ask them questions. I'd be like, hey, what's turnaround me? Or an option? They're like, boss, are you serious? I didn't know anything. As fate would have it, timing's everything in Hollywood. And at that time, they were, you know, Hollywood's crazy. If if a big sci-fi comes out like ET, all the studios want a sci-fi. Okay. If it's an action film, I want action films. Well, I ended up in Hollywood at the exact time where the the trend was making old TV series into movies. Everything, Batman was first really, but everything from the Adams family, Lassie, they were snagging up anything. And I'm thinking, lost in space. Erwin Allen died like three months before I got there, so in 1992. Ended up calling his widow out of the phone book. And yes, people listening, the younger ones, we had phone books, okay? And ended up convincing her to have breakfast with me. Next thing you know, I bought the rest. To Lost in Space, and you know, Paramount's back and everything. And I'm a film producer. And then ended up getting a bidding war between New Line and 20th Century Fox. And New Line won. They paid me a million dollars up front. Now don't forget I was born, I had nothing. So now here's where it kicks in. Lost my father, nobody to hold me accountable. I'm now a movie producer. Okay. I got a million-dollar check up front. Okay. I got an ego of the size of Manhattan. It wouldn't even fit on this screen. And I went nuts. Okay. When I bought those rights, I wasn't married at the time. But flash forward, Lost in Space came out, knocked Titanic out of first, set a box office uh record of the highest April opening ever. Okay. And I'm just thought I was all that. Okay. And then my second movie came out, Black Dog, with Patrick Swayze and Meatloaf. And that was just by fate because Lost in Space, that was a$90 million picture that we shot in London. We had nine sound stages. It took us 18 months of just pre-production. We built Joshua 600,000 square feet of set. Because back then we didn't have, you know, the technology. And so it's funny because if you watch Lost in Space Now, my kids watched it. And one of the big effects were Matt LeBlanc, where this his face goes down. They're like, Dad, that's so cheesy. I could do that on my iPhone app, which is true, you know. So what took me$90 million back then, I could probably go remake for like 10, you know, hey, with AI. But that's when um all hell broke loose, to put it that way. The enemy knew because during that time I already bought the rights to loss in space. I met my wife, we got married, and uh I had two lives. I I flew, but here's the thing, let's talk about bads again. Blake, my 40-year-old, is from my first marriage. I was married for six months. And to this day, Blake's mom and me are still amazing friends, super good friends with my wife. If something had happened that shouldn't have, and we were both the pro-lifers, obviously. So I said, hey, we're getting married. And uh interestingly, we we moved to Daytona Beach, and I remember near that NASCAR track, like walm, walm! I'm like, this stuff's killing me. But Blake in the womb, see how God works? Um, must have heard the other time because he ended up becoming a NASCAR driver and had a very successful career as a NASCAR driver. So we got basically at a nold, and then I met Stephanie, and at that time, um, not having a father, I turned to heavy drinking, heavy drinking, vodka tonics. I'd have four or five just get warmed up, and then the other party favors that go along in Hollywood, you know, the cocaine. Um, but I always felt I never had a problem because I only I was a weekend warrior, but it was a problem. And I had two lives. I would fly home talking about dads. Every single weekend I flew home to see my son Blake. That's why I gave you the background on him. He was very young, so I flew like a million and a half miles in 18 months. Even though I was running hard in the world in the flesh, it's dark out there, Joshua, too. It's it's deep, it's dark out there. And uh, but I still, because of my dad and the influence that he had on me, okay, my goal was to be a great father. That came before even being a great husband. So I never missed uh a weekend going to see him. Never. And of course, it looks like something the cat drug in. I remember being, and you know, God's got a way of punishing him back then. You get a you'd be up for a couple days, you get a center seat on the graveyard shift on the way home. The consequences were heavy, you know. So I just really strive to be a great father. Um, living two lives, my wife finally kind of caught on, had enough. Um, and uh I'll tell you, we we got separated. Basically, she threw me out. Basically, she threw me out, got separated, and I had everything that the world could offer. All my dreams came true. I had money, I had cars, one of my driving today, the Porsche Turbo, the Range Rover, or the other one. I had we had a beautiful 6,500 square foot house, gorgeous, everything, the Rolexes, you name it. All the worldly dreams for me came true, but I was lost, miserable, empty. And that's where I got into transition, and I actually wasn't looking for God, you know. I was actually living over at Marilago, I was one of the second members there in a house in the back, and just lost. And of course, at that time, what the enemy likes to do, divide and conquer. He knew if he could divide my marriage, right? We wouldn't be talking about the book that I've got over 500,000 copies out to men, because my DNA is I even got a tattoo here, 6'11. Okay, put on the full armor of God so that you will be able to stand up to everything the devil throws you away. We're in a spiritual battle. His number one tactic is to divide and conquer. Okay, so he knows if he could have divided my marriage, there would have never been a book. So my wife supernaturally stayed with me. So it's when over it's when I was over at Marilago, all my worldly dreams came true. Lost of space came out, I had two in the top ten at the same time, and I was empty. And that's when God, now I'll shut up now and let you ask a question, okay? That's that's when God I had a soul to Paul Transformation. It was on the beach when I was staying at Marilago. I'll keep going.

SPEAKER_00 28:14

Okay, yeah, like let's walk us through that.

SPEAKER_03 28:17

So here Mark Cook sits, and of course, what the enemy wants to put in your mind is it's all her fault. Okay, it's all her fault. I give her everything. I give her a new, she's got a new car, she's got to do this, I give her everything. This the enemy wanting me to think, you know, because she's cold at the time, there's no intimacy, she don't want nothing to do with me, of course not. Okay, I'm a mess. So I remember sitting on the beach on Palm Beach from Marago, and the presence of God came on me because I was so empty and so lost. And and I didn't even think about praying to God, like, God help me. My old roots, my old Catholic roots, it just didn't come back. You know, it was just me. And uh it's like I was sitting on top of this mountain, and all my worldly dreams came true. But as I looked down this mountain, look at look at the mess and the disaster and the destruction I've done to get to the top of this mountain to the fame, to the money, and everything else. And what's up there? What's really up there? Nothing. And at that time, I felt the presence of the Holy Spirit, um, like never before. And it was over and over in my mind, you know, that's how the Holy Spirit talks. I didn't hear any audible voice on the beach, okay? Um, and over and over my mind said, Look at you, you're lost in space, you're losing everything. Your family, the relationship with your children, you're losing everything. Okay. And I just started weeping, like weeping. What was the very next, the next day, I think, or potentially two days after, this guy, uh Dean Lovett, we'll give him a plug here, shows up at uh Marilago. Like, how did he even get in here? I never even met the guy. My wife has been praying that book by Storm American, The Power of a Praying Wife. Okay. Because she'll even tell you now, she goes, I always knew Mark was a great guy. He's got he's a great dad, he's got a great heart. If he could just get it together, you know. So prayer, prayer, prayer. Guy shows up and uh I says, Yeah, what can I do for you? And I'm a mess, Josh. I've been up for three days partying. Just now that I'm thrown out, so now I have nobody to hold me accountable. I'm just part, I'm just putting this a personality into overdrive, man. I got money, I got anything I want to do, you know. And uh so he shows up and says, uh, I'm Dean. Uh Pamela's good friends with with your wife. And uh, do you believe in God? Like, what's all this about? You know, that's the last thing I want to hear right now. And and it's interesting because I said, Of course I do. I was born and raised Catholic. I graduated from Gabriel Richards, I'm defending myself, you know. And you know, God knows how to get us. He knows exactly, or his children, he just knew exactly how to play me. She goes, Well, I keep getting up every single night. I don't even know you, and I'm tired of it, and I'm being obedient to the Holy Spirit. I gotta come over here. Here's the Bible, I want to give it to you. I've done my job now. If you believe in God, blah blah blah. She goes, then why don't you come to church with me tomorrow? Why don't you go to church? I said, Okay. Okay. So I show up at Christ Fellowship Church, and once again, God knows how to get our attention. And it's Pastor Tom Mullins, ex-football coach, big guy, reminds me of my dad. Matter of fact, he looks like my grandpa, baseball, big presence, tough guy. Big church, you know. I think they got 30,000 members. Back then, it was a smaller. I remember walking into the church, Joshua, and I had so many demons in me of just strongholds. You know, it's such a deep sin that's not unrepented because I didn't know Jesus. And the enemy wants me because he knows. We discussed this earlier. God gave him authority over the air. His name's Prince of the Air. What's the air? This ledia. I'm rating his turf. Okay. He don't want to lose Mark Cook. Okay, I'm rating his turf. Walk into church. I had a lump in my throat. It's not like a golf ball, like a softball. I thought I was gonna die. Yeah, I remember walking up to like the third row, sat down. And the Holy Spirit also uses music. Man, music. I I I thrive on Christian music now. But uh that song came on, Lord, I give you my heart, I give you my soul. And the presence of God, just like on the ocean. See, that's the second time, you know. A couple days prior, I'm I'm feeling this presence of God saying, Look at you, you're lost in space. And you know, even though I'm in the flesh, I'm losing everything. I got money and stuff I'm losing was really important to my spirit anyway. And uh the song came out. I wanted to cry, I just wanted the ball. But I had so much pride in me, the spirit of pride. I'm looking for a Kleenex, like my eyes itch. Interesting, my wife's two seats down. It's like a setup. Okay, and actually, I guess Dean, I guess Dean walked into the pastor and said, I got this big shot Hollywood producer coming in here that's losing everything. He thinks he's all that, this punk. And I and I think Pastor Tom said, I got this, I got this one. So it was a setup, you know. So after the songs, after the music, after the Holy Spirit softened my heart, this Pastor Tom walks out, and man, he reminded me of my dad. He spoke with such authority, with such uh authenticity and truth and power. I'll never forget it, Josh. But he says, and if you think that you can continue to live in perpetual sin without quite consequences, you can't. And he pointed right at me, he goes, You get a grip. And I went like frozen. So it's like my dad, it was like my dad's like, You get a grip. And boom, the altar call came, went up to the altar, gave my life to Christ, and uh I'll never forget it. What a day! I get emotional now, think about the the the relief because I meant it. Okay, I said, Lord, forgive me, I'm a sinner, cleanse me, wash me with your blood, use me, mold me, make me the man you want me to be. I give you my life, Lord. And I meant it. Okay, and bam, went down, reunited with the wife. Everything's gonna be okay. This is great. Move back into the house. And I remember Pastor Tom going, there's a thousand angels rejoicing every time somebody gives their life to Christ. And man, things are good, Joshua. What he didn't tell me is there's also an enemy. You know the story about the seeds along the path, the ones that get plucked up real quick because they don't have your roots, right? Um, what he didn't tell me is there's also an enemy, and I can almost visualize it. Flash down movie stuff now, buddy. Satan gathered around the table with his top seven demons. Boys, we got a problem. Cookie, that was my nickname. Cookie just gave his life to Jesus. Get him. Okay, it's real, and the spiritual warfare that I went up down, up down, up down. Church on Sunday, obedient, forgive me, Lord. And uh that was a battle. That's when the book came out. God revealed the book. If we have time, we'll talk about that. But the battle was intense, but God allowed me, okay, to go through all that for the reason. Now, ended at this. Everything's great, moved back in the house within three months. We lost everything. We went from that six, seven thousand square foot house to a 800 square foot apartment. All the cars were taken. No money, the bank actually didn't have the roll quarters to feed the kids, gone three months. I had a um lawsuit on Black Dog, my big truck movie with Patrick Swayze. Two of the stump men got killed. And of course, they sue universal pictures, they sue prelude pictures, in which I own, and the producer. And we lost, and it happened so quick, so fast. When you lose that kind of a judgment, they just froze everything because he said, Hey, he's a he's gonna go hide all his assets. The judge granted them, freeze it all, broke. And I look back, and that's when you get mad saying, if this is what it's like to be a Christian, what are you kidding me? That's the best thing that happened. Me, I look back now and I'm like, Thank you, Jesus. I see Jesus smiling, saying, Okay, boys, he just gave his life to me and he means it. So take everything, strip them down. Because as long as this cat's got a couple mil in the bank, it ain't gonna last. You know, he's gonna need me. And it's really true. It's just when when you when you truthfully give your life to Christ, and you really mean the Holy Spirit plow is gonna come in and get those those weeds out, man. Yeah, I'll tell you, it wasn't easy. So now I got, and you always think it's the enemy. It's enemy, no, it's God, it's God, you know, and getting a hold of my heart, but he just he he let he revealed me my true DNA, and that is to expose the enemy, to tell my brothers and sisters, sisters out there that are watching, he's real, he's active. Okay, God gives us the best weapons made of the best materials to use. And you know, if you analyze 611, put on the form of God so that you will be able to stand up to what? Everything the devil throws you away. Which means if you don't, you're gonna get slaughtered. Right here. I put four helmets on, man, every morning. You know, I don't miss it, but that's my story, buddy.

SPEAKER_00 38:35

Do you have an incredible story of overcoming the home that you were raised in? Or maybe the father wounds that were placed inside your life? If so, I want to share it with other dudes without dads. Simply go to dudeswithoutdadspodcast.com and apply to be a guest on the show. The reason it's important to share your story is because when you share what God has done for you, it helps other men believe what God can do it for them. And share your story. Head over to Dudes Without Dads Podcast today. For a dude, thank you for sharing. There's so much that we want to double down on. But at the same time, how much can we drill into? So I want you to speak to the dude who has absolutely everything, but he feels he has nothing. He's in the same spot you were. He found this episode, someone shared it with him. He's on a mountaintop, but he feels like committing suicide. He feels like he has no meaning or purpose or value in this life.

SPEAKER_03 39:41

Yeah, boy, I'll tell you, man. And there's so many of you out there successful. Your whole life like me, wanting that for the dream. How do I get respect? How do I get notarized? How do people praise me? How do like I'm proud of you, this and that? Earthly success. Okay. And there's nothing wrong with that. Okay. But if you have Christ in the center of it, that's great too. Another acrimon that God gave me, and this is this is this is this is for the guy out there that's got everything, sitting on the top, got the money, probably blaming the other people around him, too. That you give everything to everybody, you're a great provider, you're great. This, and like the old story goes, how do you spell love? Okay, T-I-M-E. Okay. And the third, another acumen God gave me is joy, joy, which is the biggest blessing on the planet. No money, no possessions, nothing can buy joy. Can't. And the acumen was I put it on my Holy Spirit, boy, Joy. What are you trying to tell me, Lord? 430 again, Joshua. Joy. What does joy stand for? The presence of Jesus, Jay, overwhelming you, J O Y. The presence of Jesus overwhelming you. I think I'm gonna do a tweet shirt. There's nothing that can compare, okay, to obedience, striving for righteousness. When you sin, get back up, cover it with blood, okay, move forward, stop focusing on all the earthly blessings and give. Use use that success you've done right now and use it for the kingdom. We're all here. I'm talking to the guys out there that are successful. We're all here for one reason, okay? And that is to share the message of Jesus Christ. Another acumen, sorry, ERA. And these are all from God. ERA. Focus on your ERA, you wealthy guys out there. Eternal retirement account. Because your IRA, you're gonna leave to somebody. You don't have any idea it's gonna be. Heaven is real. And what I heard, here's how I feed my flesh, okay? Heaven is real, and I hear there's levels, almost like you know, the government in a way, and I want like Billy Grams on A Street, close to all the action down there with the king and and and and God. And the ERA is every book I give away the first hour, it's send our block. And again, we've given away about 500,000. And it's eternity, it's eternity. So, what have you sent ahead? But the most important thing is not to focus. Here it is. Turn your passion into purpose, not possessions. God laid that in my heart as well. Turn your passion into purpose, not possessions. Possessions will come, it's a it's a benefactor of it. But man, there's nothing better than to seek God. And my book, The First Hour, it's all about tithing your time. I don't miss it. You know, we're supposed to give God the first fruits of our income. Don't you think as a father and a dad that he would probably just as important, maybe more, that we give him the first fruits of our time. 10%. When you seek God and make him first in your life, the joy and the peace, no money, no car, no boat, no house, nothing compared to it. Nothing. So I'm talking you out there, you're missing out at what real perfect peace and perfect joy is, and that is having Jesus Christ as the center of your life and your marriage.

SPEAKER_00 43:32

Yeah, have you ever seen the little acronym of you know, Jesus plus nothing equals everything?

SPEAKER_03 43:43

I lost the volume for some reason.

SPEAKER_00 43:46

Check, check, check. So you hear me? Yeah, I hear you. Let me do this. Let me do this. You have been an incredible guest today, and we're gonna have you back to discuss your book. And for today. Our listeners that are that are processing what does purpose, what does life look like beyond success. We know for a fact that if you live your life for pleasures or if you live your set life for um possessions, you'll never truly fulfill or get to the place of your life where you feel satisfied with the things inside of your life. And so I want to just thank you again. I appreciate you sharing that. And I specifically want to speak to the dude who is going through it right now. Um, as a man, we have all gone through times where we feel like throwing in the towels, where we don't understand purpose, meaning. There's events that take place, and it just sets us back. It rips our heart out. But I want you to know that there's a God who loves us. And he doesn't only want to be our God, he doesn't only want to be our creator, he wants to be our heavenly father.

SPEAKER_01 45:01

Yes.

SPEAKER_00 45:01

And what we have to do is come to him as a dad who loves us, who sent his only son to die for our sins, everything that you've done, no matter how bad or wicked that you think you've done, you can be forgiven and you can be shown the grace and the love and the mercy of what's called atonement. When Jesus died on the cross, he atoned for my sins and he atoned for your sins. That means every wrong that you've ever done justified just as if you had never done anything wrong. So I want to encourage you today, trust in the Heavenly Father. He's with you right now in the car, in the room, wherever you're listening to this at. He is present where you are. It's not me, it's not Mark, it's the Holy Ghost that wants to show you that he loves you. Let him, by repenting and receiving him as your savior, as your Lord, and as your father. And so I'm gonna ask Mark to close in a word of prayer and you receive this prayer and come into the kingdom of God and make your wrongs right. And then we're gonna bring Mark back to talk about a 30-day boot camp with his book that is absolute incredible on how to win the first hour of every day. Mark, would you close out in today?

SPEAKER_03 46:23

Amen. I'd be honored to my brother and and and guys listening out there, and and uh I'm sure there's some gals listening out there too um that are praying for their husbands, like my wife did for me. And don't give up, don't give up faith, don't give up hope. But guys, this is specifically for you, and there's no accidents, there's no coincidences, there's none. And you're watching this right now for a reason because God is reaching out to you and trying to reveal himself to you and is begging, okay, for a closer relationship. He wants to be your father, and that that's my that's my father now. My earthly father was great, but that's what he was. He's earthly dad. Okay. God wants to be our father. So we come before you, Heavenly Father, we come before you in the mighty, matchless name of Jesus. And Lord, right now, for all the viewers or listeners out there, and myself and Joshua, if there is any sin in any one of our lives, Lord, we ask you right now to cleanse us from the top of our head to the bottom of our feet with your precious blood. Father, forgive us for any and all sins, everything we've ever done. We take these sins and we and we push them with the pigs over the cliff into the abyss where they belong. Thank you for forgiving us, but not only forgiving us, Lord, thank you for forgetting our sins. Help us to forget all of our past sins, start fresh. Father, we block the enemy out. He has no authority over reminding of us our past. And my brothers out there listening right now, you don't have a past right now. Today is new, today is fresh. There's nothing you've done. There's nothing you've done that your father will not forgive you for and move on and has a big plan. So, Father, we come before you in the name of Jesus. Lord, I ask you to bless, to supernaturally, okay, fill each and every one of my brothers with your Holy Spirit. You promise us your Holy Spirit, Lord. Give us a fresh renewing of it. And Father, touch each and every one of these listeners. Reveal yourself to them, give them a sign, Lord. And Father, I just ask you in the name of Jesus, protect my brother Joshua, all the things he's doing for the men, and just continue to bless his ministry and explode it around the nation, around the world. Us men, we need a father. And you are the ultimate father, Lord. So, Lord, touch each and every one of my brothers. Listen to this cast. We praise you, we honor you, we thank you. Above all, thank you, Jesus. In your name we pray. Amen.

SPEAKER_00 49:06

Amen. I want to thank you again for being a guest on the Does Without Dads podcast. If this has been a blessing to you, I want to encourage you to send it, share it, make a comment, and visit us. I've got a little community inside what's called the asyougo.network, where we teach you how to have a relationship with God and we can give you tools and community. But until next time, we'll see you in the future. Peace. Bless you, man. Thank you.

unknown 49:32

Thank you.

SPEAKER_02 49:33

Forgiveness is more for you than them. I had inner peace for the first time in my life. It's just me. Just Jesus.